I really like lube. To me, having intercourse with out lube is like brushing your tooth with a dry toothbrush. It’d get the job accomplished, however the result’s … sticky, type of painful, and doesn’t depart you feeling refreshed. Lube shouldn’t be an elective luxurious that sits within the bedside drawer ready for the “proper second.” Whether or not you’re spending some intimate time with your self, a companion, or many companions, an intimate lubricant must be concerned.
No bed room is full with out at the least one or two varieties available, particularly when you’re planning to make use of intercourse toys. (You must be using sex toys, however that’s one other story.) So far as I’m involved, lube is as important for intercourse as condoms and clear palms. If I present up at somebody’s home for a very good time and there isn’t lube ready on the nightstand, I’m heading out the door.
No Lube, No Boob
I used to be shocked to study that not everyone seems to be with me on this. Within the (albeit largely queer and Pacific Northwestern) bedrooms I’ve been in, lube has been as frequent as bedsheets and tarot cards. If you happen to haven’t tried lube earlier than, or when you’ve got some reservations, that’s in all probability not your fault. There are highly effective forces working to persuade you that try to be on the market raw-dogging it. Darkish forces, gathering within the evening, who search solely to chafe your genitals.
Considered one of these malicious creatures is misogyny—it tells us that utilizing an intimate lubricant is in some way a failing; that needing it for intercourse is a failure in your half or your companion’s. It whispers: How dare you not get wetter; there have to be one thing flawed along with your physique.
One other monster beneath the mattress is machismo. It tells us that utilizing lube means you’re a foul lover and that you just’ve didn’t get your companion excited. It’s all nonsense. There’s nothing flawed along with your physique. There’s nothing flawed along with your method. Generally our bodies don’t do what we wish them to and, shock, shock, generally genitals don’t behave in the best way that motion pictures, TV, books, and porn inform us they need to.
Pleasure Is Not the Enemy
What’s disheartening is that these attitudes proceed to form not solely a well-liked opinion however medical analysis into sexual well being. A lot of the research I appeared into whereas researching this story centered on intimate lubricants concentrate on curing an issue. I discovered just one or two that even point out sexual pleasure, and a type of is a research about how few articles about sexual well being point out sexual pleasure. It’s 2022, can we please stop pretending that folks shouldn’t get pleasure from getting off? Or that sexual pleasure isn’t essential? As a result of it’s. Put that Plymouth-Rock-Puritanical-Hester-Prynne nonsense within the rearview.
Anybody who has ever touched themselves is aware of that having slightly additional one thing (saliva, naturally occurring moisture, and so on) makes it really feel higher. And feeling good is the entire level! Water-based or silicone-based lubes comprised of high-quality elements will be like rocket gasoline to your sexual pleasure.
Not solely do they stop chafing (and microscopic tears) on probably the most delicate components of your physique, however they make issues really feel so significantly better. Lube is like sexual MSG. It makes all the things higher, and a few persons are weirdly afraid of it.
Let’s Get All the way down to Enterprise
OK, so the place do you begin? Straightforward peasy: Order your self a bottle of any unscented, unflavored, glycerin-free, water-based lube. You don’t need any scent, as a result of while you’re within the thick of it, it’s going to make issues scent bizarre. (It is the identical cope with flavored lubes.) Ideally, you need lubes which have as few elements as potential. Maintain it easy.
Manufacturers like Sliquid fit the bill and really feel nice to make use of on any genitals, plus they’re cheap. In my expertise, they’ll depart you feeling slightly sticky afterward. For a extra premium lube, I’d level you to ones from Maude or Dame. These lubes meet the above standards however depart a pleasant clear end and final slightly longer while you’re utilizing them.
The opposite main type of lube you’ll encounter is silicone-based. These lubes are oil-based, which means they final so much longer than water-based lubes, as your physique received’t soak up them as rapidly; it makes them the commonest selection for anal play and anal intercourse. Nevertheless, they’ll intrude with vaginal flora, so it’s usually not suggested to make use of them for vaginal play or vaginal intercourse.
There’s additionally one different large caveat with silicone-based lubes: You’ll be able to’t use them with silicone intercourse toys. Silicone lube could make silicone toys degrade over time. If you happen to use silicone lube with a silicone toy, be sure you use a condom. My favorites listed below are from the identical manufacturers as above: Sliquid and Maude.
Apart from that, my solely remaining recommendation is that this: Play! Play with your self. Get a lube, put aside a while, seize a favorite toy, and go ham. The one strategy to discover ways to use lubes is to make use of them, and one of the best ways to follow is with your self. Find out how nicely they apply, how a lot you want to make use of, and the place the very best place to retailer them is. Intercourse must be simple, be friction-free, and really feel nice—and a very good lube will assist with all three.
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